Gone Hunting
O why weren't you home my dirty young son?
I was skipping school and playing Hooke.
O what did you do instead of learning?
I was up early and going hunting.
O why weren't you home my dirty young son?
I was tracking the big one across the prairie.
O why do you track it across the prairie?
To get us some meat for the cold winter.
O why weren't you home my dirty young son?
I was skinning the deer so i could be done.
O why do u skin the deer so fast?
So i can warm up in the house.
I really like how you started this poem. The rhyme of "learning" and "hunting" is especially good because it shows that you are doing one in place of the other, but at the same time, they are so different. I feel that the last stanza is a little abrupt. It suddenly ends with "So I can warm up in the house", when I am expecting more. I think that question/answer could be better.
ReplyDeleteI like the second stanza the best.
ReplyDeleteI like your repeating refrain, and how you linked everything to hunting. I feel that the third stanza could have used a little more work. Good Job.
ReplyDelete